Back when I was a child, I can still remember the first spank I had with her. I was crying really hard. It was one of my unforgettable experiences. It became a part of me. Indeed, it was a memory.
Mommy Lou. I used to call her that way. We are very close to each other. I love the way she talks to me every night before I went to sleep. She taught me a “good night” prayer that I still practice until now.
She taught me how to wash my clothes. She told me stories of her teenage years and in my mind I cannot stop giggling. Having her in my childhood days was an extraordinary remembrance of what I had with her as my grandmother.
But things change, she got sick and I was busy in school during the days when she needed someone to talk with. I wanted to visit her but the thought of timidity and boldness from some of my relatives prevented me from visiting her.
I wanted to assist her while she’s taking her medical check-ups. I wanted to be with her all the time and list the blood pressures in her old notebook. I want to cook her favorite Sinigang. I wanted to say how I love her since then.
It was a click, right? Yes, it was snap. But that little time we shared occupied the reflection of my soul.
I am in a world where I cannot truly decipher where my life stands right now because I keep on thinking about her condition. She’s old and life is hard and full of surprises.
I just don’t like having the regrets in the future. I might break and it’s hard to accept that fact.
An iota of sadness lingers in my mind. I missed her a lot. I want to say the things I wanted to say long time ago. But I cannot return from the past. Things changed and I admit that we’re not that close anymore.
As I move forward, I will never forget those memories that I had with her. It will always be one of the best memories in my life. She will always be a part of me. :')
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