Feelings to peel, that moment

Fancy background!

I once sat with this boy on a lazy cold morning. I wonder if he knows I like seeing him at school everyday. For the past three years, I've known him as the big scary man but on the contrary I look at him as if his an angel. Even though reality tells that he's not. People may look at him as if he's gonna kick all asses, well it could be possible if you mess up with him.

I took this photo at McDo Abreeza during last year's Valentine's Day.
I was with my bestfriend, Steph. 

So back to where I started, I once sat beside him. That time I secretly look at him while I was doing something in my laptop. I know he was sleepy, I know he was tired and he badly needs a bed and a pillow to rest for awhile. Yeah, I look at him but not straightly to the eye, I look at him using the reflection of my laptop. I've seen his head was banging back and forth, suddenly he lays his head closer to my shoulder and how I wish he would place his head on my shoulder that moment, but then later his body fell on the couch.


I feel sorry in his position when he was asleep but I also do feel sorry for him alone. He looks so stupid (lol)  and awkward but his face remains the same- the innocent looking guy playing deadly games. And here I am with the new baptized name "Chariots" (lol), writing about a guy that whenever we talk it only last for seconds.

Obviously, I seldom talk to him in school but as every moment we talk I feel as if  we're the only two moving. I feel my heart stops beating whenever he's near and the part that I hated most is when I cannot look him in the eye. I'm afraid that if I look at him eye-to-eye I may figure out something that I don't want to know and something that I don't want to feel.

I might end up swallowing the words I once said to my brother that love is only intended for stupid people. I'm not stupid! Mga tanga sa pag-ibig! I have to fight for this. He's stupid and you're not. He has a girlfriend and stop lurking his shadows to you dear.  I must throw away this stupidity because love hurts and I don't want to feel stupid just because I loved but because I know he'll never love me back.

So, haha, shut the F*CK UP DEAR!!! LOL